I feel like abortions should bother me more
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
