i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
