I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize