I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My friends, they love my intelligence
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
