READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
