some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
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Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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