and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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