yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
