what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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