I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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