i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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