the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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