I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
