Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
