AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize