He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
