my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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