Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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