My sheets look like a crime scene.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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