I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
