I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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