I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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