I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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