Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
