dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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