Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
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Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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