Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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