Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
