: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
