Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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