We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
