I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize