How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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