So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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