The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We are all done wearing pants today
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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