Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
