I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
