Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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