And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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