it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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