:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
