I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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