fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
