He is such a slut. More and more my type.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
