sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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