oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
jump out the window naked night went bad
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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