good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
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