Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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