Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
