I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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