Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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