I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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