I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize