i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
