if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
