oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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