I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
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