Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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