Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
